[ stretching, abruptly, and giving herself a shake ]
Like I said, it isn't a bad concept now that you've explained it more. It's just... I've fought pretty hard to be the person I am now from a point not too unlike what you described. And I'm proud of that effort, and I'm proud of the results. So... the thought of potentially being snapped up and having that path smoothed out, having those things not happen... I don't know. Even if I would have been happy...
[ ...mm. she chuckles a little under her breath ]
Well, it's more than a little pointless to get fussy over something that didn't happen. I'm sorry about that.
Oh, it's definitely not smooth. Yukine's put a lot of fight and energy into becoming the person he is, too. If anything, being with me probably just made it harder on him. But he's--turned into a really good kid. I'm super proud of him, I hope he's super proud of himself, too. Either way--I can't change him. He has to do that himself. You would have been okay.
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I'm sorry, I didn't intend to imply that you would. I more meant... in general, I suppose.
... I actually started out as a ghost, so. You can probably see why I'm being less than graceful about the concept.
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Somebody wanting you, somebody naming you, giving something of themself to keep you with them, being that important to them.... that might feel nice
/2
... it is.
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Like I said, it isn't a bad concept now that you've explained it more. It's just... I've fought pretty hard to be the person I am now from a point not too unlike what you described. And I'm proud of that effort, and I'm proud of the results. So... the thought of potentially being snapped up and having that path smoothed out, having those things not happen... I don't know. Even if I would have been happy...
[ ...mm. she chuckles a little under her breath ]
Well, it's more than a little pointless to get fussy over something that didn't happen. I'm sorry about that.
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Oh, it's definitely not smooth. Yukine's put a lot of fight and energy into becoming the person he is, too. If anything, being with me probably just made it harder on him. But he's--turned into a really good kid. I'm super proud of him, I hope he's super proud of himself, too. Either way--I can't change him. He has to do that himself. You would have been okay.
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[ a beat, and then she adds in the driest tone possible: ]
...I'm also something of a control freak as far as my autonomy goes, so there's that. Of course the thought gives me hives.